Cmon, Ask Slim Anything

[slim]

if you were in charge of destroying boat rock,

how would you do it?

I would hotwire a bulldozer from a local developer and push all the boulders into the lake. Then I would nuke the lake.

[slim]

Slim,

If you were going to make me a sandwich that was going to realign my understanding of what's a great sandwich, what would be on it?

Thanx,

hweight

P.S. Make me a sammich.

Good question. Lately I have been appreciating an abundance of meat and I have no room for veggies. Here are three great sandwiches I have been enjoying of late:

The Reuben from "Star Provisions"
I never really enjoyed a reuben til I had this one. Thick helping of homemade pastrami. Thick toasted buttery bread to soak up the juices. Sauerkraut for a little crunch and a nice Russian dressing. Only go this route if you are in the mood for a grease bomb.

Corned Beef and Chopped Liver from "Bagel Palace"
Not a veggie in sight here, and no cheese either. Warm toasted bread and warmed corned beef on a generous shmear of chopped liver. Rich and earthy and very decadent. Must be eaten with spicy deli mustard or you fail.

The Poboy from "Goldbergs Deli"
Not a real poboy. But damn tasty. Fresh baked french roll with sliced pastrami, turkey and bologna. A small amount of sliced pickle. Mayo mustard. This is my standard sandwich I throw in the backpack for a day of bouldering. With nothing to get soggy it is just as good if eaten at the end of the day.

I have no room for salad and shit on my sandwiches anymore. Quality bread is vital. Quality meat is vital. Mustard is vital. Proceed.

[blimp]

how does one go about becoming a hero?

[Lox]

Sending The American Hero would pretty muck give you claim to the title.

I'm sure there are other ways.

Also, another vote for the reuben. I get mine with mustard AND russian dressing. OMG.

[pmahnn]

C'mon you have met him. Much better communicating with him over the internet than in person.

Dear Slim,

Do you consummate your love for ET through cybersex?

Sincerely,
Pervmahnn

[evil temptress]

Not as far as I know. Unless he tossed off to pics of me on 0friction, but he will have to answer that one.

We barely communicated before I moved here. Who knew I would end up shacking up with STFU's retarded cousin.

[STFU]

joy pretty much called it

[evil temptress]

FU

[slim]

how does one go about becoming a hero?

Silently and confidently achieve great things in life.

[slim]

Dear Slim,

Do you consummate your love for ET through cybersex?

Sincerely,
Pervmahnn

I think you misunderstand the meaning of consummate, which is:

1 : finish, complete <consummate a business deal> b : to make perfect c : achieve
2 : to make (marital union) complete by sexual intercourse <consummate a marriage>

We are not married, but f you are asking if I fuck her through cyberspace, I much prefer such things in person. Ya know?

[Pru]

he saves the cybersexing for me

[evil temptress]

So do I!

[slim]

CyberThreesomes4Lyfe!

[hweight]

CyberThreesomes4Lyfe!

Ultimately, it's still just you, touching . . . yourself.

ftl.

[evil temptress]

The only one that is left alone is Pru.

[Pru]

Dear Slim,

Why is ET so mean?

Love,
Your Pru

[slim]

Dear Slim,

Why is ET so mean?

Love,
Your Pru

Good question!

Along with absolute sweetness comes absolute meanness. You get her bad side!

[hweight]

Dear Slim,

Why do people buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune? Can't they imagine what that vowel is and keep their money?

Thanks,
hweight

[slim]

Dear Slim,

Why do people buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune? Can't they imagine what that vowel is and keep their money?

Thanks,
hweight

Trying to wrap my head around the stupidity of the American public is rather difficult. I try not to waste too much energy pondering such things. Just remember SOMEBODY has to pick up your garbage and serve you french fries at the local fast food. Do they also need to be a good strategist at Wheel of Fortune? No they don't.

[Ikefromla]

Hey watch it Slim. My buddy Dan the trash man is no dummy, and he crushes rocks too.