Boldering Forums

mountainz wrote:Fuck bouldering. I hate this sport. Fifteen years wasted. Fuck.

It was a beautiful fucking day out, and, oh, about the 237th time I had been to Rocktown. As I was strapping on my shoes in the Orb area, I looked around and realized, fuck, -- now this hits me hard, like as if I loved dogs, and I had just heard my dog died -- I've climbed pretty much every problem here, and I have zero desire to climb any of these problems ever again or any of the few problems I haven't climbed which are total choss or pretty hard. Right then, I felt my passion for bouldering die.

I've tried bouldering since, but the passion's still dead. I just don't care. I feel like the token hippie who tags along on a bouldering trip. I mostly laze on the rocks and stare at the treetops. I try a V3. I don't get why everyone else is so psyched. At least I'm happy to be outside. Hey this bug is kinda cool.

I have reasons besides having been to Rocktown too often, and I think they're legit. Firstly, there are no stories in bouldering. Ask yourself, have you read or heard a good story about bouldering? And I don't mean ones about drinking and drugs and sex loosely related to bouldering. I mean about actually bouldering. *Crickets* Okay. Take for instance this forum, this forum is a prime example. What is the last thing we would ever talk about? Answer: Actually bouldering. Now why is that? Because actually bouldering is boring. What happens? Joe sent V37 and did this super sick crimp match blah blah YAWN. I'd rather read about alpinists dying on Everest. In fact, I'd rather pour over a Reader's Digest. Bouldering is boring. Someone does three moves. Nothing really happens. Who cares?

Here's another reason bouldering sucks. The tree of FA fruit was plucked pretty much clean about 10 years ago. All we have left are rotten fruits or ones that aren't worth getting the ladder for. Have fun repeating problems for like ... forever.

I have 50 more good reasons I hate bouldering, but I'll do one more because at this point I'm sure you're getting as goddamn bored as I am with all this talk about actual bouldering. Terrible isn't it? I fucking know. Anyhow, so what's the deal with when you've commited an entire year to getting in your best shape ever when *BLAM* you get a little cold, can't climbing for 3 days, and you're pretty much back to square one. What the fuck is that about? Or worse, you blow a tendon and now you have to baby your hand for a year. Whatevs.

You guys should try mountain biking. It's a blast, and sometimes you have a good story to tell.

Happy bouldering. lulz.

- P